Psychic Predicts Wisconsin's "Red Plague"

In entertainment news today it has been learned that the new comedy "Cedar Rapids" was originally intended to be filmed in a small Wisconsin town and titled "Wisconsin Rapids". Unfortunately the film's official psychic warned producers of a "red plague" that would "completely lay waste" to once progressive and film-friendly Wisconsin.

The detailed prediction is now confirmed fact by all national and international news sources, and in a most bizarre twist is being praised in hourly "breaking noise" segments by FoxOpinion's Glenn Beck. The original prediction centered around a new breed of zombie-like Governor-Dictator in whom the brain and spinal column become so decimated by years of neglect and thoughtlessly following the orders of owners, otherwise known as campaign contributors, that victim A, now identified as Scott Walker, had no resistance to or awareness of disease onset. Walker is too ill to be a qualified source of information and family and "friends" are not commenting on Walker's behavior prior to infection. Walker's home and office answering device messages consist of Walker himself screeching "BUST UNIONS! DEATH TO THE MIDDLE CLASS!" followed by creepy and prolonged laughter and then a singale "beep" in human voice before abrupt hang-up.

Medical professionals state the disease presents as an almost complete lack of activity in the rapidly shrinking brain's frontal lobe (the reasoning/rational portion of the brain, responsible for decision making and other higher brain functions) combined with sudden onset megalomania, paranoia and extreme delusions, featuring one hundred percent reverse logic and lack of even the most minute measure of common sense.

Doctors now recognize the disease is as virulent as other plagues throughout history and deadly to millions, though it is uninfected people who die, mostly nurses, fire fighters, EMT's and children, due to lack of medical care related to abuse of power by infected persons.

The disease is known to be spread by close and prolonged contact with bovine digestive waste, often found in the mouths of republican officials. It has crossed state lines, having infected several other high ranking republican office holders. Ironically treatment is being delayed by massive budget cuts affecting the Research Department at University of Wisconsin-Madison Hospitals and Clinics, where cutting edge researchers were formerly world leaders in health care, fear of which is one of the strongest and most deeply rooted of Governor-Dictator Walker's many paranoid delusions, and among the first entities deemed a "domestic enemy combatant" when Walker took office.

In other news, Charlie Sheen is still crazy as a shit house rat.