Greetings

As I am perhaps permanently unable to log on/post to my original blogspot blogs (AcerbicRN and MarquesSpot) I begin anew.


As in many things, I start this endeavor in memory of my brother Mark, lost to us in 2006 after enduring in near silence too many years in a toxic marriage to someone I always realized was a sociopath...let me rephrase that for legal purposes...it is my educated opinion that she is a sociopath. I could go on about that, but there is really no point. It won't bring my brother back or allow our family to ever see his beautiful daughters again. 


I will try to make this more to the point. Mark was an accomplished musician and lover of life and nearly all it's ridiculous ironies. He had DEPTH--something his ex-wife never understood. The loss his daughters feel has to be immense and in reality the loss of his influence in their lives is tragic. My only hope now is that they carry forward the true Bastian genes. (Why the woman kept the name of a family she spent years tearing apart despite every kindness shown I will never understand!) At least she spells her first name with one less L than I do. Thankfully we have absolutely nothing else in common apart from our gender and names.


Mark had this wonderful equation for what he sought and was briefly able to find during the dearly paid for (and I mean DEARLY paid for) freedom he found upon escaping the day to day torture of living with a greedy, avaricious, soul sucking .... well you get the drift.  It went something like this:


 "Inner Resonance = doing good things + no one looking". 


It is likely a poor paraphrase as I have anything but an eidetic memory, but that is the gist of it and it is this legacy I will try to carry forward. 


His own blog, maintained until just hours before his death and detailing much though not all of the precipitating factors, is at www.machopoodle.blogspot.com. Please don't pay too much attention to the FoxNews stuff if you find yourself inclined to visit there...no one's perfect, and he was starving, sleepless and tortured beyond human endurance at the end. This despite my offers to have him move in with me. He just had to be close to his girls, used as pawns by his ex, and I was unable at the time to pick up and move...though I'd have found a way had I known then what I know now. 


I am glad he has finally found peace. Though I miss him terribly, I also know the hell he was living as his ex (a true woman scorned) methodically bled him dry and turned first his Church then his employer and eventually even his daughters against him for no other reason than her own bruised ego, boundless material greed and mental illness (IMO). I can only rejoice that he has found blessed peace. Even oblivion, something in which I do not believe, would be preferable.


Now, in your memory, beloved brother, I will attempt once more to leave the past in the past and renew my efforts to move forward in a more positive manner--and resonate reason.